Mt Olympus High
by craziecandie
Summary: Greek gods, goddesses, heroes and maidens in distress, all put together in the same class in their final year at Mt Olympus High. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Welcome to hell

Ares strode casually down the hallway in the general direction to his dorms. The puny little eighth years, he noticed, were staying well away from him, disappearing into classrooms and backing into walls. He smirked. They had obviously heard the rumours circulating the school. Even if they hadn't heard about him, his looks alone could intimidate all of them into the darkest corner. Straight jet black hair framed a pair of cold emotionless grey eyes. He was invincible, unbeatable, powerful. He was-

"Ares!" squealed a shrill voice.

Suddenly he found the air squeezed out of him as a pair of slender arms wrapped themselves around his chest and hugged him tightly.

"Hi Aphrodite," he gasped.

His girlfriend spun him round to face her. "I've missed these past few weeks," she said, hugging him again and pouting lips that were hidden under a mile of lip gloss. "Have you missed me?" She fluttered her long curly eyelashes at him.

"Well, um, er…"

He never managed to complete that sentence, for at that moment, Aphrodite let out a loud shriek, released him and turned to hug her best friend, Helen of Troy. Helen shrieked as well and hugged her back. Ares stared in confusion at the two females hugging and shrieking before him. Helen's boyfriend, Paris, gave him a sympathetic look and they immediately began talking about soccer.

Artemis watched the scene playing out in the hallway. "Boys," she muttered darkly, stupid idiots the lot of them."

"What?" said Apollo "Does that mean I'm a stupid idiot."

Artemis smiled sweetly at him. "Of course not my dear brother, you're different from all those other nitwits."

"Hey, said Orion, popping out from nowhere, "what about me?"

Artemis glanced at her friend and archery companion. "You," she said, patting him on the head, "are probably the most idiotic boy in the entire school."

Orion's face fell. Apollo snickered.

"Hi Arty," said a new voice, "Orion and Apollo."

Athena had appeared on the scene. Her light brown hair was fixed into a rather severe bun and she was wearing a cheerful expression. "I can't wait till the lessons start," she said happily.

"She's probably got a countdown calendar for how many minutes to go," snorted Apollo. Athena raised an eyebrow and kicked him in the shins. He went down, swearing.

"Nice choice of words, Sunshine," commented a breezy voice.

"Andromeda," said Orion in surprise "shouldn't you be somewhere else?"

Andromeda turned her cool gaze on him. Strands of golden hair escaped from her elaborate hair-do, swinging around as she moved, and her sea green eyes shot him a challenging look. "Such as…?"

"Shouldn't you be with Persues or something?"

Apollo snorted with laughter. Athena hid a small smile behind one white hand.

"Excuse me?" Andromeda said, colour rising in her cheeks. "Why would I be with-?"

"Me?" At that moment Phineus appeared, smiling at her slyly. "My dear Andromeda, you have every reason to be with me. I have gold and riches that others can only dream of. Plus I come from an important heritage to boot and I have everything you could ever wish for."

"And the brains of a dung beetle," added Athena under her breath.

"What do you want?" growled Apollo.

Phineus ignored both of them. "So, my Andromeda, would you like to take a pleasant walk with me? Just to refresh your memories of this school."

"In your dreams Phineus," said Andromeda in a disgusted tone.

Phineus sighed. "Very well, if you insist. But remember, my dear, the offer still stands if you need it." He walked away, winking at Artemis and shooting Apollo a haughty look.

"You know what I'm thinking?" said Artemis, outraged that any boy would even think about winking at her in that way.

"What?" muttered Orion.

"I'm thinking how lovely Phineus would look as a warthog."

* * *

Achilles threw his luggage under his bed and collapsed onto the blankets. The bed immediately began sagging down. 

"Jeez," said Hercules, "you've gained some weight during the holidays."

Achilles chuckled, stood up and walked over to him. "What's this I see?" he said, poking Hercules rather rudely in the stomach. "My, Hercules, and you're calling me fat."

Hercules pouted in a very un-hero like way. "Well at least I can't make a bed collapse beneath me."

"Are you sure about that?"

Both of them turned around, and their jaws dropped open. A pretty petite girl with dark hair stood at the entrance to the door.

"Briseis," Achilles managed at last. "This is the boys' dorm."

She arched an eyebrow. "And?"

"You're not supposed to be in the boys' dorm."

"Point taken. By the way, Hector needs to talk to you two about the soccer team or something. It's something about kicking Ares out of the team and replacing him with Narcissus, even though that guy can't play to save his life."

"Okay, we'll meet him in a minute," said Hercules.

Briseis turned to leave.

"Wait," called out Achilles.

She paused in her stride, her long dark hair swinging behind her.

"That dress looks great on you."

Briseis hid a small smile that was spreading across her face and hurried off.

"Great going Achilles," said Hercules grinning. He sat down of his bed and it snapped cleanly in two. He collapsed in the middle of it and screamed curses that would be better not mentioned here, Achilles' laughter ringing in his ears.


	2. Mathmatical conundrums

The bell began ringing, signaling for the first lesson of the day. The year twelves made their way to maths with Zeus, calmly shoving aside the eighth years as if they were piles of rubbish.

Zeus stood at the front of the classroom and watched fondly as his students began piling in. There was Athena, his top student, and his favourite daughter. Then there was Ares, also one of his offspring but a horrible child, gets into so many fights and detentions. He smiled as Jason walked in, a natural leader if there was such thing. Aphrodite had to be the worst. She was horrible at all her subjects and used to go out with a different boy every week. Then he noticed that the class had settled and were staring at him. He smiled rather awkwardly.

"So, welcome to another year of Mount Olympus High," he said, walking towards them with his hands behind his back. "I'm guessing you enjoyed your holidays?"

Athena was so excited that she could barely sit.

"It was way better than sitting here and listening to you ramble on," muttered Ares. He was well known for making stupid comments in class and disrupting the lesson.

Aphrodite threw him an admiring look and batted her eyelashes at him.

Zeus inwardly winced, not that he was going to let anybody know. Instead, he straightened up and glared at Ares. "I would expect much better manners from my son."

"Yeah, you have about ten in this room right now, which one are you talking to?"

Zeus reeled back in horror. Athena gasped in outrage. Artemis stood up, her fists clenched into tight balls.

"Just tell me when, father, and I'll bash him up so badly that not even he himself will be able to tell who he is."

At that moment, Hera poked her head in. "Ares," she said sharply, "while I agree with your point, which is entirely true by the way, I will not have you speak that way to a teacher. Detention at lunch. And Artemis, if you lay a finger on him you will also receive detention. I daresay Hades will be pleased to see the two of you." With that, she withdrew her head and flounced away in a flurry of long midnight blue robes.

"Well," said Zeus mildly, "let's continue with the lesson shall we?"

"Can we please not? It's our first day of school," complained Achilles.

"No. You just had the holidays for goodness sake, you have no reason to complain. Me, I was stuck with Hera these past few weeks, and I'm telling you, that was not fun."

"Please?" whined Cupid, pouting.

Zeus thought about it. If they got free time then so will he. "Alright," he said finally, "you can do whatever you want within reason. I don't want the classroom completely demolished or-."

His voice was drowned out by a stack of chairs toppling over and crushing a table. On the way down, it brush against a beautiful mosaic that he had done himself when he was a kid. The mosaic fell to the floor and smashed into a million pieces. One of the pieces of mirror cut Helen on the leg and she began screeching her silly blonde head off. Another stack of chairs toppled over as Ares dove at Apollo and tackled him to the ground.

Zeus winced and hid under his desk. He could tell that this was going to be a long lesson.

* * *

Hermes emerged from the classroom grinning. He was sporting a large black eye and blood was trickling down one side of his mouth. 

"You seem mighty pleased with yourself," said Dionysus, giggling as he usually did whenever he drank too much coke. He could get drunk on anything, even water.

"Yeah I managed to take down both Hector and Orion, well at least until Apollo punched me in the eye."

Dionysus nodded sympathetically as he happily skipped along, his small bare feet hardly brushing against the ground. Everything about him was light, airy and gravity defying. "Phineus elbowed me in the stomach so I drank some coke to make myself feel better. I have a whole carton of it stashed away under my bed."

"Well, what do we have here?" boomed a voice high above them.

Dionysus stopped skipping and looked up in fear. Hermes rolled his eyes. His uncle always loved to make an impression.

Hades glared at the two youngsters in front of him. "Shouldn't you two be in the swimming pools with Poseidon now?"

"Oh-" Hermes swore loudly, grabbed Dionysus by the arm and rushed off so quickly that he left an image of himself hanging in the air.

"Oops," said Dionysus gaily.


	3. The treasure hunt: Part one

The twelfth graders had changed into their swim wear and were now sitting out in the sun listening to Poseidon drone on about what hey were going to do in this Physical Education lesson. He tried desperately to make them as interesting as possible, but they always included either swimming or horse riding.

Poseidon was standing in his usual green regalia and booming out words in a very loud and echoing voice. Echo was mimicking what he said under her breath

Hermes and Dionysus burst into the lesson halfway through his explanation. Poseidon glanced at them with eyebrows raised.

"Sorry," muttered Hermes. Beside him, Dionysus was still giggling uncontrollably.

"As I was saying, today, we are going to do a treasure hunt."

Cupid raised his hands in mock prayer, "finally something not involving water." He hated swimming; it took ages for him to dry the wings.

"Hey, then why the hell are we in bathers?" asked Ares.

"Well there are a lot of rivers and streams in the Forbidden Forest, and I'm sure you don't want to get your usual clothes dirty."

Their eyes turned and settled on the dark gloomy patch of tall, foreboding trees that stood watchfully on the school borders.

Phineus leapt up. "You're kidding me right? I mean, you can't let us go in there. It's against the school rules." His voice quavered and his eyes were wide in disbelief.

Andromeda gave him a disgusted look.

"Nonsense," said Poseidon, tutting, "you have my permission to go in there."

"Erm," said Psyche nervously, "there is a reason why we aren't allowed to go in there."

Poseidon waved it off offhandedly. "Don't worry about that, Hades just probably told you that to scare you. None of that's true. He has something wrong with his brain if you ask me."

If that was true, then it meant all the other teachers in the school were crazy as well, or it could mean that only one teacher was crazy and was calling all the other teachers that.

"Anyway," said Poseidon, while the dumber people in the class were trying to figure it out, "I say you are allowed so you must be allowed. Get into six groups of four. Each group will get a map and you are to follow it to the place where I buried the treasure."

"But-" began Hephaestus.

"No buts," said Poseidon cheerfully, "get into your groups."

Groups of friends immediately found each other and a few loners stared gloomily at them on the borders.

"On the other hand," said Poseidon, a wicked grin spreading across his face, "I think I'm going to sort the teams."

In a few seconds, the year twelves had assembled outside the forest. Phineus had developed an odd twitch in his right eye and Persues was watching him with a smirk. They had slipped their normal clothes over their bathers; only idiots would enter the forest in only their swim wear.

Ares stared disdainfully at his team. He was the only unlucky person in his class to get stuck with a whole team of girls. Firstly there was Artemis, who was looking at him as if he was some unnamed creature from the underworld. On his first ever day at Olympus High she had broken his nose all because he spilt half his dinner on her head. Then there was Athena, whose sporting abilities were next to zero and annoyed every single person in the class with her superior intellect. And last, but not least, was Briseis; a nice enough girl but horribly soft hearted, hated battle and probably couldn't even tell the difference between an axe and a bow.

Beside him, Hector was also agonizing over his team. It contained a drunk, a copycat and a handsome angel whose heart was set on creating couples. It couldn't get any worse. Dionysus was reeling around drunkenly, clutching another can of coke and giggling. Echo, who forever wanted to be popular, was hanging around Aphrodite, mimicking everything she said, rather oblivious to the strange looks she was receiving. Cupid was trying to get Hermes and Athena together. The fact that the latter hated the former's guts seemed to fly past his silly blonde head.

Hector glanced almost pleadingly at Poseidon, but he was struggling with a huge box.

"Weapons," he said happily, dropping the box, which unfortunately landed on Narcissus' toes. He gave a high pitched girlish scream of pain and immediately wrenched off his shoe to see if it damaged any of his toenails.

The class leaned forward to see what was inside the box. It was filled with metallic silver bow and silver arrows that had some sort of syringe filled with blue liquid as a tip.

"Inside this syringe is a sleeping potion, guaranteed to knock your enemy out for about ten minutes. Under normal circumstances, it would last longer but since this is a field exercise, you might accidentally hit one of your classmates."

He sounded extremely proud of himself for having thought up such an intelligent solution to a problem experienced by many teachers from other schools.

"What if some of us don't know how to shoot?" asked Hephaestus flatly, destroying his teacher's moment of glory.

"Well er," Poseidon looked decidedly flustered. He hastily checked his extremely expensive waterproof watch. "Wow, look at the time. We'd better hurry up. Everybody grab a bow and some arrows, and someone from each group collect a map from me. When I blow my whistle run into the forest. Try and get as far away as you can from the other groups. Don't open the map until I blow my whistle a second time. Okay?"

They quickly followed his instructions.

Poseidon lifted his silver whistle to his mouth and blew as hard as he could, his face ballooning into comical proportions and turning as red as an overripe tomato. No sound came out. The students stared at him in exasperation.

"Well, isn't that a coincidence. Just wait out here while I run inside and fetch another whistle." He turned and began sprinting towards the buildings.

"This teacher's loony," muttered Paris under his breath.

Jason rolled his eyes. "And it took you four years to realise that."

Suddenly all of them jumped as the siren screamed in their ears.

"Wait a moment," said Achilles slowly, "it's not recess yet."

Andromeda grabbed him by the arm and shoved him into the forest. He crashed headlong into a tree. "That's our signal, you slow coach. Run!"

One by one the teams figured it out and they all plunged blindly into the Forbidden Forest. Little did they know what was in store for them.

* * *

A second siren screamed through the school. Hermes crashed into a clearing and paused for a moment, breathing heavily. He straightened up. "Guys? Are you here." 

"Well I'm here," muttered a rather strained sounding voice. Hephaestus had just popped out from behind a bush. Sweat streamed down his face and he hobbled awkwardly on his deformed legs.

"So am I," said Hercules. He did not seem at all puffed out and merely looked as if he had been taking a breezy stroll around the park.

"Where's Helen?"

Hephaestus shrugged. "I lost sight of her after a few minutes."

Hermes swore violently under his breath. "We'll have to start without her. Who has the map?"

Hercules produced a yellowed piece of paper out of a pocket. He held it up to the little light that was streaming through the trees. "Dang," he muttered, "I can't read this." The so called map was a pile of incomprehensible squiggles and lines. Apparently Poseidon's map making skills were as bad as his teaching skills.

Hermes snatched it off him. "Give it to someone with intelligence," he said smirking before turning to the map. He began turning it round in his hands. "Wow, this is bad. I can't even tell which one is the right way up."

Hercules smacked his head with his hand. "Great, we have an illegible map."

"Keep doing that and you'll lose the few braincells you have."

"For all we know the other groups could already be on their way to whatever Poseidon buried," Hercules growled.

Hephaestus peered over his shoulder. He was probably the smartest in that group, not that it much to be proud of. If there was one intellectually challenged group, it was this one. "I think we're here," he said, pointing to some random spot on the map. "Or here, or here, and oh, it could be here, and maybe here, or-"

"Do you know what you're talking about or just making wild guesses?" roared Hercules, his patience wearing thin.

At that moment, Helen appeared. Her damp blond curls were glued to her forehead and her flowing white robes were torn in many places by snagging branches. She was greeted by the sight of Hercules diving at Hephaestus and tackling him to the ground, Hermes grabbing Hercules by the shoulders and trying to pull him back but as effective as a string of empty cans being dragged by a limousine and the map fluttering to the ground by her feet.

"Oh my," she said before fainting dead on the spot with a soft thump.

Hermes glanced up. "What was that noise."

* * *

Persephone held out the map for the rest of his teammates to see. In the dimness of the forest, it was almost completely illegible. 

"It's no use," said Persues, squinting at the map, "even if there was light, we wouldn't be able to tell where we are. We have to find a waterway or some other landmark."

"Of course you would know," sneered Phineus.

Persues looked at him steadily. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's always Persues did this, Persues did that. You really are a teacher's pet who knows everything. I wonder why Andromeda ever liked you."

Persues curled his fingers into fists.

"Oh stop it you two," shouted Psyche, stamping her foot. Her thick dark blonde hair bounced on her shoulders and a frown crossed her face. "You're both acting like little kids. If we are to do this thing then we have to work together."

"I agree," said Persephone softly.

"Okay," said Psyche angrily, "as Persues said, we have to find some sort of stream or spring. Persephone carries the map, Persues and Phineus keep a lookout and shoot anything that moves. I will make sure that you two don't act like total idiots. Let's move."

They all looked at her in amazement. Normally Psyche was shy and patient. Somebody has given this girl a new backbone.

"She's been spending too much time with Cupid if you ask me," muttered Phineus as they set off.

"That's why nobody's asking you," said Psyche shortly. "Cause you're a brainless idiot."

Suddenly Persephone froze, causing Persues, who was behind her, to walk right into her. "What was that?"

A large raspberry bush beside her began to shake. She quickly jumped back. Phineus nocked an arrow to his bow.

"Don't shoot yet," murmured Persues.

The bush began shaking more vigorously. Phineus looked genuinely frightened.

Persephone stared at it wide eyed in fear. "Shoot!" she shrieked.

Phineus released the arrow. There was a scream of pain and Narcissus slumped forwards out of the bush, a silver arrow in his chest. He immediately stiffened as the sleeping potion took effect.

"Whoops," whispered Phineus.

* * *

Achilles sprinted across the forest floor. Behind him, Aphrodite dragged her dainty feet along, often pausing to catch her breath and continuously complaining. Andromeda was jogging steadily behind her and Apollo brought up the rear, bow in hand. Earlier, Andromeda had managed to decipher Poseidon's messy mass of lines and figured out their position. If she was correct, then they should be coming across a stream by now. 

"Halt," called out Achilles, holding up a closed fist. He liked using military signals.

They had come across a fast flowing river. He could probably jump across but he was't exactly sure about the rest of them, especially Aphrodite. The group stood pondering for a few minutes.

"So," said Aphrodite, shoving back her golden corn coloured hair, "how are we gonna get across?"

"That's what what we've been trying to figure out for the past few minutes." Apollo rolled his eyes.

"We can just swim across," suggested Andromeda.

"And spend the rest of the treasure hunt with wet clothes? Even if we took them off and just wore our bathers we would still have to carry them," Achilles said drily.

"Plus like, totally ruined make-up," Aphrodite added while reapplying lip gloss and checking her reflection in a small compact mirror.

Three exasperated faces swung around to stare at her. She looked up and smiled, "bet you guys didn't think of that."

"We're getting off the point. I suppose we could use one of the vines to swing across or something..." Apollo trailed off doubtfully. He reached up, grabbed a vine, pulled on it and brought the whole thing crashing down around his head.

"Good job" Achilles said evenly then proceeded to attach the fallen vine to an arrow. He then handed the arrow to Apollo, gesturing to a thick trunk across the river, "see if you can hit that, then we can swing across."

Apollo nodded then briefly aimed and fired. The shot was perfect and the arrow slammed deep into the trunk. Andromeda grabbed the vine just before it swung to the other side and pushed off the bank. She landed in a pile of bushes with a crash and a shouted curse.

"Whoah," muttered Achilles, "who would think that a rich and well brought up girl like herself would know all those words."

Andromeda emerged from the bushes looking rather disheveled but grinning happily. She hurled the vine back.

Apollo caught it and handed it to Aphrodite. "Ladies first," he said courteously.

Aphrodite stepped away from it, shaking her head. She wasn't going to risk falling in or, even worse, messing up her hair during the ride. Shrugging, Apollo swung over himself. Then went Achilles, who nearly knocked over Andromeda as he sung past. He hurled the vine not-so-gently back. Aphrodite caught it, wincing as it slapped against her soft flesh, and stared at it doubtfully.

"Come on, swing over, we can't wait forever," yelled Achilles. He paused for a moment. "Hey, that rhymed."

She pushed off. Halfway there, whether because she accidentally slipped or did it on purpose because it hurt too much to hold on, she let go of the vine and fell shrieking into the water. The rapid current immediately grabbed hold of her, carrying her and her loud screaming away. Achilles pelted after her, wondering why, out of all his friends, he was stuck with this air-headed bimbo.

* * *

Jason, Orion and Paris raced down an old game trail that wound its way through the forest. They already had one team member down; Narcissus, who was shot by an opposing team. They couldn't risk going back as they might lose another team member and they were actually quite glad to lose him as all he did was complain and examine his reflection in the small hand mirror he always carried around with him. Anyway, Poseidon never said they needed all the team mates to participate, did he? 

They had only been running for a few minutes, and already Paris was beginning to lag behind.

He really needs to exercise more and hang out with Helen less, thought Orion arrogantly, perhaps he should try hunting.

Jason had also noticed that Paris was falling behind was being more sympathetic. "Okay," he called out, "we'll take a break here."

Paris flopped down on the grass gratefully and lay there with sweat pouring down his face, taking in huge gulps of air as if every breath would be his last. Orion rolled his eyes but sat down as well. Jason, however, did not sit down and was keenly investigating the map.

"If we head a little more to the West we'd probably be there in a few minutes," he announced. The place where the supposed treasure was buried on the map was accented by a huge elaborate red cross.

There was silence from the other two. Jason sighed and flopped down as well. It was a nice place to have a rest. The only sounds were birds tweeting in the trees, a musical bubbling sound of a nearby brook and the heavy breathing of Paris as he tried to catch his breath. Everything was calm and relaxed. If they didn't know better, they's say that they were in some popular picnic spot instead of a huge scary forest. Unfortunately, they were in a huge scary forest, and everyone knows, good things do not happen in huge scary forests.

Orion stood up. "I'm going to get a drink." He turned and disappeared into the bush. Suddenly there was a loud scream.

Jason and Paris glanced at each other before getting up and walking over to source of the noise. Orion was standing pale-faced staring at a large orange and purple scorpion. It clicked his claws angrily. Paris started to giggle.

Orion glared daggers at him. "It's not funny," he growled. Ever since he was a child, Orion held a profound fear of scorpions. He could stand spiders the size of his fist and giant bees with huge stingers, but not scorpions.

Paris snickered. He walked up to the scorpion and prepared to squash it. Suddenly there was a loud clicking noise above him. He glanced up fearfully.

"ARGHHHH!" Paris and Orion sprinted away from the brook screaming like little girls.

Jason glanced up at the giant mother scorpion the size of an elephant bearing down on him. He quickly fitted an arrow to the string. The giant scorpion poised its stinger behind its back. "Thanks a lot for your help guys," he muttered before firing his first arrow.

* * *

"We've found it," yelled Artemis. 

Ares glanced up eagerly and quickened his pace. He found the rest of his team members grouped around a large X on the ground. He smiled, they were obviously the first group to get here.

"Alright everyone, great job, but the treasure's not ours' yet, we gotta dig it up first," Ares said.

Athena glared at him. "I suppose when you say that you mean that we three girls do all the work while you lounge around being lazy?"

Ares patted her on the head. "Athena, since when have you been a mind reader?" This complement was rewarded with furious glares from all the girls in the group. With the majority of his team watching him murderously, Ares slowly backed up with his hands raised, turned, grabbed a shovel and casually began digging trying to appear not too hurried. Artemis watched him triumphantly. The girls eventually picked up shovels as well and helped (but not too much) with the exception of Briseis who began biting her nails.

There was a triumphant shout from the diggers, they had uncovered what appeared to be a small wooden chest. The group chivalrously waited for Briseis to join them before excitedly examining the chest. Ares squealed girlishly and grabbed the chest, preparing to open it but then thought better of it and handed the chest to Artemis, who smiled and reached for the clasp when...

...to be continued


	4. The treasure hunt: Part two

...Cupid swooped in from above and snatched the chest right out of Artemis' hands! With a maniacal laugh he flew off, clutching the treasure that was painstakingly dug up by the other group.

"Ha ha!" he called out gleefully. "See ya later suckers."

This action was met with mixed reactions. Ares swore loudly and began smashing up a tree with his shovel, Artemis immediately reached for her bow and shot arrows after Cupid, Athena screeched and ran off into the trees after Cupid, Briseis crumpled to the ground and began rocking back and forth and biting her nails again. After about ten minutes Athena returned and the group gathered themselves together and made for the finish line, with Ares muttering under his breath about swearing and avenging and Cupid and betrayal.

* * *

Cupid sped through the forest, expertly dodging the volley of arrows Artemis shot after him. He clutched the chest to his...chest and cackled delightedly, the treasure was theirs. Ha, he thought gleefully, who's the useless one now Hector. Zooming over the treetops he had a splendid view of all the other teams. Hermes, Hephaestus and Hercules were all trying to revive Helen with no luck, she had obviously been soaked in water, slapped on the face numerous times and dragged across some tough terrain. Cupid giggled and decided to help, he yelled out, 

"Hey Helen, your make-up and hair's completely ruined."

Her teammates looked up just as Helen woke up. She screeched loudly as she discovered the state of her clothes, hair and make-up. Her teammates looked down. Cupid flew off.

The next team he passed was Psyche's. She was bossing her group around, keeping Persues and Phineus apart and encouraging Persephone who was deciphering the map and leading them. They were actually making good progress, unfortunately they were making good progress in the wrong direction, towards the heart of the Forbidden Forest instead of skirting around the edges like all the other teams. Cupid shrugged, right now his team was his priority. What could be so bad about the middle of the forest anyway? He hurried on.

He flew over a river and was met with a most hilarious sight. Aphrodite was floundering around in waist-deep water, her hair and make-up a complete mess. Achilles was yelling at her to get out of the water but she was too preoccupied with the 'scary slimy fishies' in the water. Apollo was rolling around laughing his blond head off and Andromeda was giggling uncontrollably. Cupid sighed and grabbed Aphrodite by her tangled hair and dumped her unceremoniously on the muddy bank. She stood up quite self-consciously and brushed herself off, haughtily ignoring Apollo and Andromeda. she then turned to smooth her dress down but promptly tripped and landed on an ant nest. Cupid took off with Aphrodite's screech ringing in his ears.

* * *

Narcissus groaned sat up. There was a pain in his chest that was killing him and, even worse, he was sure that his carefully gelled hair was messed up. He quickly checked his hair in the small hand mirror. Yep, a few strands were out of place. He reached up and rearranged it so it looked fashionably windswept. Now for the pain in the chest. There appeared to be an arrow embedded in it. 

"How did that happen?" he wondered aloud, wrenching it out.

Before he had a chance to remember, there was a loud crash, leaves and twigs showered his face and a wooden chest dropped onto his lap. He stared at it.

"Omigosh," he cried, hopping up, "I found the treasure! The others better thank me for that. Oh I am such a genius."

He did a funny little dance of victory before setting off to find the rest of his team. He was so preoccupied with his own cleverness, he failed to see Cupid slowly drift to the ground, glassy eyed and feathered wings bent strangely out of shape.

* * *

Jason fired arrow after arrow at the scorpion. The sleeping potion, while having a massive effect on Narcissus, was doing the scorpion no harm at all. In fact it seemed even more enraged and advanced on Jason even faster. He was down to his last three arrows and he was getting a _little_ worried. 

"Oh man," Jason breathed, "I'm so dead."

Suddenly there was a strangled scream and a blond and blue...thing...came hurtling out of nowhere straight into the giant scorpion. The scorpion stumbled under the impact of whatever it was and collapsed into a large tangle of orange and purple legs. The thing was screaming its head off about treasure and looked vaguely like Narcissus on a bad hair day (a rare event). Jason moved closer and stared at it incredulously. It _was_ Narcissus and he _did_ appear to have _really_ messed up hair.

"I found it! I found it!" he screeched loudly, "I found the treasure thingie!"

Jason just stared. Narcissus suddenly appeared to realise his rather...ruffled appearance. He immediately stopped shouting and began smoothing down his hair, dropping the chest on the ground near one of the scorpion's legs. Jason stopped staring and picked up the box.

"Oh right," Narcissus said, "that's the treasure, _I_ found it."

Jason looked questioningly at Narcissus.

"The treasure, T-R-E-S-H-O-R-E," Narcissus spelled painstakingly slowly, "you know, the purpose of this whole thing?"

"How do you know it's the treasure _we're_ looking for," Jason asked.

"Well, DUH!" Narcissus attempted to roll his eyes but failed miserably, instead looking like he had some mutant disease, "it says 'Property of Poseidon, Do Not Touch Unless on Treasure Hunt'. Hey are we allowed to touch it?"

Jason sighed.

"Hey where Orion and Paris?"

As if on cue, the pair ran out of the forest and into Narcissus. He was knocked out for the second time that day. The unconscious Narcissus toppled over and landed face first into the brook.

"Nice job guys," Jason said.

* * *

Hector strode around the clearing, occasionally glancing up at the sky as though he expected someone to come flying down with treasure. Dionysus was chuckling quietly to himself swigging from a huge bottle of Coke. Echo was following Hector around and was mimicking everything he said, which, to her annoyance was nothing at all. 

"Okay everyone," said Hector, "let's go find Cupid."

"Okay everyone," mimicked Echo in an annoying high pitched voice that sounded nothing like Hector's, "let's go find Cup-"

"Glad you second my idea Echo," Hector replied stoutly, "Now lets get a move on. Where's the map?"

Dionysus produced a soggy mass of wet paper. "Tah-dah!"

Hector took it with a slightly disgusted expression. It smelled faintly of coke and...drool?

"Why you little...!"

* * *

Cupid shifted uncomfortably in his bed, hmm he didn't remember having leaves in his bed...or branches...or bugs. With a start he sat up and noticed that he was not, in fact, in bed. He was in...a forest? The Forbidden Forest. The treasure hunt. It was all coming back to him now. They were on the treasure hunt and he had...the treasure! Cupid patted the dirt around him, shifting leaves in search of the chest. OMG he lost the chest! Hector was going to KILL him. Cupid tried to remember what had happened. He was flying...then pain and darkness. And a head of shiny blond hair, Narcissus! He had the treasure! With new resolve Cupid rose unsteadily and flew off, heading back towards his group.

* * *

Ares fumed silently. He couldn't believe they were so close to the treasure. That little rascally Cupid, he was gonna pay for all this. Ares unconsciously bunched his hands into fists, oh yeah, that Cupid was gonna pay alright. Then he noticed the rest of his group looking at him strangely, then he realised he'd been talking aloud and swinging punches at an invisible foe. He flushed and pretended he was swatting bugs away. Briseis let out a little giggle which Ares studiously ignored. They walked on. 

Suddenly a large spider dropped down from the branch in front of Ares. He gave a shrill shriek and attempted to swat the spider away, the spider evaded his hands and yelled angrily,

" Oi, stop waving your huge hand around like some maniac. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't swat the insects away too, a spider's got to eat you know." With that it disappeared back into the trees leaving a shell shocked Ares .

"Well don't just stand there," Artemis said with a hint of suppressed laughter in her voice, "let's get going, we wouldn't want to be stuck in here at night now would we?'

With a shudder Ares kept moving, ignoring the snorts of mirth coming from the girls. He just hoped none of his friends ever found out about him being verbally abused by a giant possibly man-eating spider and laughed at by girls.

They group kept moving, following what appeared to be a heavily overgrown path. The trees seemed to melt away as they reached the edge of the forest, the finish line, and noticed Poseidon waiting there for them.

"Huzzah!" he yelled when he saw the group, "group number one! But where's the treasure? This _is_ a treasure hunt you know."

Ares growled and went on to explain how that conniving beastly Cupid stole the treasure chest and flew off with it. Artemis, Athena and Briseis backed away slowly when his voice got louder and louder and smoke started coming out of his ears. Poseidon waved them off and continued to listen to Ares' speech about exactly how evil and sneaky and rude Cupid was. The girls went to the stables and looked at the horses.

"Phew, I'm glad that's over," Briseis said wearily, "what do we have next period?"

* * *

Helen screamed and screamed and screamed. 

"Jeez, put a sock in it would ya?" Hermes was standing next to her with his hands over his ears and a pained expression.

Helen stopped screaming and saw that her team mates were looking at her with concerned expression. She immediately remembered the reason for her excessive screaming. A murderous light leapt into her eyes.

"Right," she said angrily, jumping up to her feet, "who made that comment about my hair and make-up? Own up!"

It seemed strange that such a loud voice would come from such a petite girl. Her team mates glanced at each other. If they told her, then they would probably find Cupid's dead body outside the school gate as a warning to the next person who was thinking about insulting Helen of Troy.

"Erm, maybe it was...er...your imagination?" Hephaestus suggested hopefully.

"Oh boy, muttered Hermes, "no one is that stupid Hephaestus."

As it turned out, Helen was that stupid. "Oh," she said quietly. Then she flounced away and began redoing her perfect unsmudged make-up.

"Um Helen,"said Hephaestus, "we really don't have time for this. Cupid's group got the treasure so we probably have to head to the finish line now."

Helen ignored him and began opening a jar of facial cream.

"Er Helen?" began Hercules. He never understood why girls had to look their best at all times. "We really have to get back."

"If you don't then all the scary forest monsters would come out and gobble you up," said Hermes. Even he thought that it was a stupid thing to say but it might work on Helen.

There was no such luck.

"I give up," muttered Hermes under his breath.

Suddenly Helen let out a high pitched shriek. All three boys jumped. "What?" asked Hercules looking slightly unnerved.

"My god, I forgot to pack my mascara," she cried, "we have to go to the finish line so we can end this stupid lesson and I can go get it. Come on, what are you guys waiting for? Get moving."

Hercules, Hephaestus and Hermes glanced at each other. "Okay..."

* * *

Poseidon smiled as the second group came into view. However, they did not seem to have the chest. He sighed exasperatedly, did these people think he sent them into the forest for a picnic? As they approached, he forced a smile on his face. 

"Hello," he said in the most pleasant voice he could muster, "you are the second team to arrive."

The group ignored his cheery manner and lay down on the grass to relax. Helen was attempting to hide her face with one large flowing sleeve so others could not see her without mascara, not that they really cared. Hephaestus was mumbling to himself and staring at the sky. Hermes and Hercules were in a conversation about which sport could get you the most injuries. Ares attempted to join them but they were pointedly ignoring him so he went off by himself and waited for Aphrodite to return.

There was a series of screams and a huge crashing sound and Achilles, Andromeda, Apollo and Aphrodite emerged from the forest. Both Achilles and Aphrodite were dripping with water and Apollo and Andromeda were in uncontrollable giggles. Ares immediately rushed to hug Aphrodite then noticed that she was completely wet, a factor he did not see until she had hurtled into his arms. He patted her wet back awkwardly and winced as something (possibly a spider he thought, shuddering) crawled out of her voluminous skirts and onto him and began its way down his leg. Artemis had hopped up, rushed over and embraced her brother as he made his way towards them, glancing curiously at the trail of water following Achilles and Aphrodite. Likewise, Briseis hugged Achilles tightly before sitting down and inspecting her ragged nails.

After all the hugging and embracing was finished, Poseidon began his welcome. "Congratulations," he said, "you are the third team-"

The people ignored them and began chatting excitedly with each other about their experiences in the forest.

Poseidon rolled his eyes, a trait that he had learned from his brother Zeus who used it whenever Hera was talking. "No-one ever appreciates me anymore,"he muttered.

* * *

"Guys!" yelled Cupid. "Guys, where are you?" 

He was answered with some strangled yelling that came from somewhere to his right. He listened hard. Yep, that definitely sounded like Hector. And, as he moved closer, he could make out the shrill scream of Echo and bursts of giggles from Dionysus.

"Guys, Narcissus got the treasure and-" Cupid broke off with a gasp as Hector jumped on him and began strangling him.

"What?!?!" he yelled, his face a mask of fury.

Echo gasped behind him and even Dionysus stopped giggling for a second, but decided Cupid's face was a most amusing shade of purple.

"Woah, chill dude," wheezed Cupid, fighting to breathe.

"I told you to find the treasure. Find. The. Treasure." Hector shouted, spraying spit everywhere, "or didn't that get through your thick head? Huh?"

"We just have to find Narcissus' group before they get to the finish line," Cupid choked out.

"Oh yeah, like's that's _so_ easy," snarled Hector, "they're probably ALREADY there you imbecile! You-"

Dionysus tapped Hector on the shoulder mid-rant, shook his head put his finger to his lips and gestured for him to listen. In the silence the group could hear Narcissus bragging about how he found the treasure, Jason telling him to shut up and Paris and Orion arguing about who chickened out first.

Hector's eyes widened and he released his death grip on Cupid who immediately collapsed and began gasping for air.

* * *

"You screamed first," yelled Paris. 

"So? You screamed the loudest," bawled Orion.

"You screamed like a girl."

"Did not. You started running away first."

"Only because you were too scared to run. Anyway, you followed."

"You-"

"Guys!" yelled Jason. "Shut up. We have to get the treasure back to Poseidon before some other group finds out."

At that moment, a silver arrow flashed out of nowhere and sank into his ankle. He gaped like a fish out of water for a few seconds before the sleeping potion took over and he crumbled slowly to the ground. A bombard of arrows followed. Narcissus let out a girlish scream and ducked for cover. Orion rolled his eyes and nocked an arrow to his bow, ignoring the hail of arrows that were zipping past his ears. At an afterthought, Paris did the same. The two of them were the best at archery in the class, excluding Artemis and Apollo.

Orion took a step backwards and accidentally stepped on something. The something beneath his foot cracked and split in half, causing him him to topple over and land flat on his back. Out of the corner of his eye he saw an empty cracked coke bottle rolling away before the happy face of Dionysus dominated his vision. Giddiness was plastered across his delicate features and he held a bow and arrow in his hands.

"Nighty-night," he chirped.

Dionysus released the arrow and it flew backwards into his own face. He collapsed, shrieking in pain. Orion sat up thanking his lucky stars, though there was not much need to. Anybody could've seen that Dionysus was holding both the bow and the arrow the wrong way around.

Narcissus had fainted sometime before the battle began so he was left alone. Now that he was awake, he shot up and stared. It was almost like a battle straight out a movie scene. Arrows flew everywhere, most of them missing their target by miles, and it was complete with its own soundtrack. He frowned. This wasn't a movie, this was real life, and real life wasn't supposed to have 'Oops I Did It Again' by Britney Spears playing as background music. The music was coming from a pocket on his Levi jacket. He reached in, pulled out his mobile phone and flipped it open.

"Hi mummy, it's Narcie-bear. Yes, everything is fine here, mummy, and I did pack my Paddington pajamas so you don't need to come over here and bring them and-oops. I just dropped my mirror, silly me." Narcissus bent over to pick up his fallen mirror. At that exact moment Hector fired an arrow at him which sped past his head so close that it skimmed through his blond curls. "Gosh! I wonder what that was...no mummy I wasn't talking to you, I thought I felt something in my hair. Yeah yeah, might have been a bug. Yeah. Yes mummy I _am_ using the new conditioner you bought me, mm-hmm. Ohh what's that?" Narcissus bent over to look at a shiny gold rock on the ground just as a second arrow whistled through his hair. "Omigosh! Mummy I gotta go, I think I found gold! Bye mummy, yes I love you too. Bye!" Pocketing the lump of "gold" Narcissus strode off to find his teammates.

Paris and Hector faced off in a clearing, both eyeing each other warily. They were the only conscious ones remaining in their groups and both felt the need to get the treasure or at least die trying. In one smooth action Paris dropped the treasure chest and nocked an arrow only to look up and find Hector had done the same thing (minus the treasure chest dropping action).

"So brother, it's come to this," Hector said, grimly nudging his bow downwards so the arrow was aiming at Paris' legs instead of his heart.

Paris returned the favour, smiling sickly. This was gonna be fun. He adjusted his arrow briefly before firing, the arrow slamming into Hector's leg a second before he felt an arrow slamming into his own leg.

"OWWW! You little-" Hector's words were drowned out by a moan of pain from Paris. The Trojan princes sank to the ground at the same time.

Suddenly a blue blur burst into the clearing yelling at the top of his lungs about finding gold. Hector and Paris turned simultaneously at the sound of his voice and passed out, the image of a crazed Narcissus imprinted in their minds.

Narcissus stood in the clearing and spent a full minute staring at the unconscious princes. He then noticed the treasure chest and promptly forgot about the princes.

"Hurray! I found the treasure!"

* * *

While waiting for the other groups, Aphrodite and Helen had organised a truth or dare game to keep themselves occupied. They had 'somehow' managed to convince all their other classmates to join them, a method which involved the threat of a complete makeover and a rather murderous looking Ares standing standing behind them. Aphrodite placed an arrow on the ground in the middle of a large circle the group had formed. 

"I'm going first," Helen squealed and spun the arrow. It landed on Apollo. "Truth, dare, double dare, truth command or torture?"

Apollo's eyes widened and he looked pleadingly at Artemis. She shook her head and grinned wickedly. Apollo sighed, he was going to regret this later. "Fine, double dare, with Artemis."

Helen began thinking really hard for a dare that would make both suffer. "Oh I've got one. Both of you are not allowed to make-up for the rest of the day."

Everybody stared at her, with the exception of Aphrodite who gave a dramatic gasp. Apollo and Artemis sighed in relief.

"Wow Helen, you really have like, a really mean streak!" Aphrodite exclaimed, unable to imagine the horrors of not being able to wear make-up for an _entire_ day.

Suddenly Apollo felt a nudge in his side. Artemis was glaring daggers at him.She drew a hand across her neck. The meaning was extremely and painfully clear. Even though the dare was horribly easy, she still wasn't going to let him off for dragging her into this.

"Okay, my turn now," Apollo spun the arrow and it landed on Artemis. Thanking his lucky stars, Apollo dared her to not bash him up after the game was finished which she grudgingly agreed to.

Artemis, with a furious glare at a grinning Apollo, spun the arrow. It landed on Hermes. He was asked what mark he got on his end of year report and he easily said D-.The game progressed for sometime. It was Andromeda's turn to truth or dare someone. She leaned over onto her elbows and flicked at the arrow. It made four full revolutions before coming to a halt at...

"Narcissus!"

"I found the treasure, I found the treasure!" Narcissus yelled in a breathless voice. His hair was a complete mess with twigs and leaves stuck in it and his normally flawless face was streaked with grim.

"Oh well done," boomed Poseidon. "You got the treasure, unlike the rest of the idiots here. Come on everybody, let's go to recess."

"But the rest of the class is still in the forest-" began Athena.

"What are you complaining about," demanded Poseidon irritably, "you could've gotten the treasure yourself, but no, you just had to come back empty handed. Stop being a sore loser. Now Narcissus my boy, open the chest and see what you've got."

For some strange reason, whether from exhaustion or that he had seen his reflection in Helen's mirror, Narcissus had fainted. Ares irritably snatched the chest and opened it.

"Four coupons for horse-riding lessons from Poseidon?" he said stupidly after glancing inside.

Poseidon smiled cheerfully at him and let them out for recess.

* * *

Recess was packed with pomegranate tarts, muffins and fruit, a back-to-school present for Persephone from her mother, Demeter, who was the school chef. After a while, Hector's group and the rest of Narcissus' group returned. 

Cupid bit hungrily into a pomegranate tart. "Hey," he said suddenly, "where's Psyche and her group?"

* * *

Back at the forest, Psyche was determinedly pushing her group further into the heart of the forest. 

"Keep going," she said encouragingly, "we're nearly there."

Unheard by the four of them, the school bell rang to signal the end of recess and the beginning of their next lesson.


	5. English with Hera

After recess, the twelfth years were sent to English class, which was, unfortunately for many, taught by Ms Hera. Ares swaggered into the classroom with an air of superiority and confidence, unlike the rest of the class who were mainly cowering in fear. It was_ his_ mum that was teaching after all.

They took their appropriate seats and waited nervously for their teacher. They didn't have to wait long; Hera arrived in a dramatic bang of blue smoke right in front of the blackboard. Several people couldn't help gasping. A few easily scared people jumped in their seats. Ares rolled his eyes, something that would've earned anybody else in the class a week full of detention.

Hera was a very striking person to begin with. She was tall, with a thin mouth that was easily turned into a frown, slanting blue eyes that narrowed when there was the slightest thing that displeased her and steel grey hair pulled up in a severe bun at the back of her head. She was also quite known for wearing beautifully sewn clothes and extravagant jewellery. Today, she was dressed in shimmering midnight blue robes with silver embroidery at the sleeves and hem and an enormous sparkling sapphire pendant. Just looking at her made their eyes water.

"Good morning class."

"Good morning Ms Hera,' the class droned back.

She glared disapprovingly at all their drooping eyelids and faces slumped on desks and frowned. And when Hera frowns, it isn't just a slight turn at the mouth. No, it is a full on death defying glare that bunched up all her nonexistent wrinkles.

"Tsk-tsk," she tutted loftily, "I would expect year ones to do better. Just because the holidays are over it doesn't mean you can't say a proper good morning.'

Hercules yawned unconcernedly and slumped forwards onto his desk.

"Because the first time was so sloppy, maybe you can-" her eagle eyes noticed Hercules' slumped form, "SIT UP STRAIGHT MR HERCULES AND PAY ATTENTION OR OTHERWISE YOU'LL BE GETTING DETENTION!"

The class jumped. Hercules practically shot out of his seat. Ares snickered softly.

Hera smiled like a cat getting scratched behind its ears and began talking again in that horribly soft voice. "Now seeing as I have your attention..." she paused suddenly and looked around the class. "Where are Persephone, Persues Phineus and Psyche?"

As if on cue, the four burst into the class. They were panting heavily covered in dirt, leaves and bits of bark.

"We're sorry, Ms Hera,' said Persephone huffing and puffing, "but we kinda got lost during sport lesson. I think Poseidon sent you a note and-'

She stopped at the look on Hera's face.

"How nice of you to join us finally," she said sweetly. "DETENTION! FOR YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU!"

"But I didn't do anything,' exclaimed Artemis, looking scandalised.

"Speaking without permission!" shrieked Hera, "DETENTION!"

There was some sort of silence ringing after her last word, broken only by Ares chuckling silently to himself.

"Now," said Hera, taking huge breaths through her slightly hooked nose. "Everybody turn to chapter one of _The Essential Guide to the English Language for Year Twelves _by_ Artemis Fowl _and read it. No talking."

"Hey, isn't he that dude who wrote the maths, science and history books as well?" muttered Hermes under his breath. "Nerd."

"What did I just say Hermes?" asked Hera in a dead calm voice.

"You said not to talk. But I wasn't talking," he said mischievously.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW? DETENTION! NOW STOP TALKING AND GET BACK TO WORK THIS INSTANT!"

She slammed a closed fist down on the table space in front of him. Tiny spider web cracks ran across the white surface.

Cupid winced. "Ouch, that's gotta hurt."

Hera hissed and turned white with fury.

Artemis put up her hand. "Excuse me…Ms Hera," she added as an afterthought.

Hera turned to her and returned to her normal colour in a matter of seconds. "Yes?"

"The author of this book is called Artemis, but it says he's a boy. Is that a publishing error or couldn't his parents tell what he was when he was born?"

Thankfully it was at that moment when Zeus decided to poke his head in the room or who knows what would have happened?

"Er Hera darling, is this a bad time? Because you're sort of needed in the science lab. The second years, well they blew something up and Hades kinda needs you to fix it."

Hera grinded her teeth loudly and took deep breaths (as instructed by her anger management class) before sweeping out the door. Zeus gave her a worried glance and hurried after her.

Orion raised his hands in prayer. "Thank you second years for blowing something up, I praise thee. Seriously though I thought _Hera_ was gonna blow up."

"Yeah, _way_ too close," said Athena, "by the way, Artemis is both a girl and a boy name."

All Artemis managed was a disgruntled, "humph."

* * *

By the time Hera came back she appeared calmer and the year twelves were sitting with their arms folded and hopeful smiles on their faces. Hera was not impressed.

"Have you finished reading?' she asked with a frown on her face. She hated when children tried to get on her better side through…whatever they were trying to do.

A few mumbled "Yeses" and "mm-hmms" echoed around the place. Hera frowned again. Non-eloquence was another thing she really hated. If there ever was a list of all the things she hated, it would probably be able to wrap twice around the world.

"Good, because I am testing you on it."

The class groaned, Achilles the loudest.

Hera leaned over until they were eye to eye. "Do you want a test or detention?"

"I'll take my chances with the second option," Achilles said weakly. He was one of the best at sport and top in the class in weapon handling, but when it came to matters of wielding a pen or pencil, he was totally lost.

Hera pursed her lips. "Fine, you will do detention at lunch with Hades along with your other classmates, but you still have to do the test."

"Hey, what? That's not fair."

"I'm afraid it is not up to you to decide what is fair or not." She began gliding off.

"Hey wait, but if I do the test then I don't have to do detention right?" Achilles pleaded. It wasn't often you saw a tough warrior pleading with his teacher about schoolwork.

"Hmm, let me think about that. How about...NO! Oh, and everyone who fails to achieve 80 percent or higher will receive…DETENTION!"

Resigned to their fate, the class began doing the test that had mysteriously appeared on their desks. It was 50 pages long, ridiculously hard and included stuff that weren't even _in_ the first chapter as well as maths, science and social studies.

Athena started eagerly on the test unlike some of her classmates who gave up after a few minutes. Artemis skipped through the test doing what she could, which was not a lot because the test _was _incredibly hard. Ares took a more direct approach and tore out the pages he couldn't do until all that was left was the cover page and the back page, pleased with his work he leaned back in his chair and took a little nap. Aphrodite was truly puzzled, having never read anything more than gossip magazine articles she hadn't even attempted the…book…and was now reapplying her make-up, sure that her connection with Ares would keep her out of detention. Hercules didn't bother with the test as he already had detention and didn't see the point of doing something so pointless. Hermes snuck looks at Athena's test but she was scribbling away so fast and illegibly that there was no point copying her work. The rest of the class stared at the test incredulously before unanimously giving up.

Hera sighed happily as she observed her unhappy students.

* * *

The siren for the end of the period rang suddenly, breaking the gloom like a foghorn in...fog. The entire class leapt up as one and made for the door. Hera just looked on and smiled.

"WHOOPEE!" Dionysus jumped onto his desk and ripped his test in half dramatically.

"Ha! The poor suckers who have English next!"

"YESSS! FREEDOM!"

"Alright! English's over!" shouted Hector gleefully, "what do we have next?"

Persues dove into his bag and pulled out his timetable:

**Monday:  
1st Period **Maths  
**2nd Period** PE  
**3rd Period **PE  
**Recess  
****4th Period** English  
**5th Period** English  
**Lunch  
****6th Period** Art  
**7th Period** Physics

**Tuesday:  
1st Period **Year Meeting  
**2nd Period** LOTE  
**3rd Period** Chemistry  
**Recess  
****4th Period** PLS  
**5th Period** Free  
**Lunch  
****6th Period** PE  
**7th Period** English

**Wednesday:  
1st Period **English  
**2nd Period** Maths  
**3rd Period** PE  
**Recess  
****4th Period** Music  
**5th Period** Drama  
**Lunch  
****6th Period** Drama  
**7th Period** Geography

**Thursday:  
1st Period **Home ec  
**2nd Period** Home ec  
**3rd Period **PE  
**Recess  
****4th Period** PE  
**5th Period** History  
**Lunch  
****6th Period** Biology  
**7th Period** Maths

**Friday:  
1st Period **Assembly��  
**2nd Period** Maths  
**3rd Period **Free  
**Recess  
****4th Period** Art  
**5th Period** Music  
**Lunch  
****6th Period** LOTE  
**7th Period** PE

Persues paled and collapsed back into his seat.

"Well, what do we have next?" Achilles demanded snatching up Persues' timetable to see for himself.

"Oh. Dear." At that everyone pulled out their timetables and one by one sank into their seats.

"Now that we're settled, perhaps you can bring your tests up so I can mark them." said Hera with steel in her voice.

Dionysus looked regretfully at his shredded test but brightened when he discovered a bottle of coke that had somehow escaped his attention until now. He happily handed his test in and began drinking. Athena appeared not to have heard Hera and continued scribbling.

"Athena! When I tell you to hand your test in I expect to be obeyed...DETENTION!"

The class realised Hera was on a roll (her detention roll) and became rather subdued. She looked around, disappointed that no one else had said anything so she couldn't give out any more detentions. Sighing, she turned to the task at hand when she saw Dionysus drinking his coke. Guess who got detention?

In a remarkable 30 seconds all the tests were marked and redistributed. Everyone had failed except Athena who got 81 percent, but she had detention anyway. Hera smiled inwardly, this had to be a world record, the entire year in detention. Then she remembered the time she put the entire school in detention and smiled even more. By the end of the period Hera was positively glowing and went to her next class humming.


	6. DETENTION

Andromeda gazed wistfully out the window, watching the rest of the school frolic around in the school grounds. The sun shone brightly down on earth, reflecting off the colourful flowers and green trees. Mount Olympus High was situated in a very beautiful area, close to lush forests of evergreens and olive groves. Above it were tall peaks of blinding white snow and below it were mud brown villages that almost seemed to disappear in the sunlight. Sometimes, when there were free periods, she was dragged off by Artemis and Apollo to go hunting in the woods, where they would shoot down hares and present them to Demeter for dinner. She was brought rather abruptly by a cane banging down on her desk, about an inch away from her hand. She winced.

"More writing, less daydreaming," commanded a curt voice above her, tapping the cane impatiently. "How many have you done?"

"Six hundred and thirty-seven," Andromeda mumbled weakly.

"You're going too slowly, move faster."

Wincing, she picked up her pencil in an already aching hand and wrote slowly and painfully, _I will listen to Ms Hera and obey her orders. I will not celebrate the end of her lessons. I will study for her tests and I will repeat this line one thousand times._

Hades smiled as he watched her suffer He loved watching people other than him suffer. "Good," he growled, "now hurry up. The others are way ahead."

Perhaps that was a bit of an overstatement, as it turned out.

Earlier that day, they had been, well according to her at least, inexplicitly rude to Ms Hera. Now the entire class was sitting in detention during lunch with Hades, the doom and gloom of the school, to supervise them. If that wasn't bad enough, Ms Hera was the one who organised their punishment. Now they were writing the same ridiculously long line one thousand times, using their left hand. Anyone who didn't complete their lines by the end of lunch would have to finish it off during their free time and hand it in tomorrow.

"Erm, Mr Hades," twittered Dionysus nervously.

"Yes."

"Do you know how you said that Hera wanted us to write with our left hand?"

"Yes."

"And do you know how I'm left-handed?"

"I didn't know that but yes."

"And do you know how left-handed people find it easier to write with their left hand than with their right?"

"Just get to the point already!"

"So am I supposed to write with my left hand or my write? I mean, Hera told us that we were supposed to write with our right hand but she probably doesn't know that I'm left-handed and wouldn't it be more of a punishment if I wrote with my right hand instead of my left because my right hand is weaker? So I am completely stuck about whether to use my right or left hand and I need you to help me."

Hades took a full minute to work out what Dionysus was saying. When he did, his face turned a nasty shade of red. "So. You are saying that you spent all this time doing nothing?"

"No no," corrected Dionysus hastily, "I spent that time working out whether to use my right hand or my left."

"In other words, you did nothing. Why didn't you ask me earlier?"

Dionysus gave him an innocent look of surprise. "Well, you were looking so tired and cranky that I decided not to bother you."

Hades began taking slow deep breaths through his nose, the exact same method as how Hera calms herself down. After all, they went to the same anger management class, though he, unlike Hera took anti-depression class as well. He turned away from Dionysus and began searching for a new victim to yell at. His eyes rested on Narcissus, who was checking his reflection in his hand mirror.

"Mr Narcissus," he barked sharply, "what do you think you're doing?"

Narcissus glanced up from the mirror in surprise and ran a careless hand through his recently gelled hair. "I finished my lines sir."

Hades held out his hand. "Hand it over."

Narcissus tossed him the pile of papers before turning back to admire himself in his mirror. Hades flicked through it.

"You wrote four lines," said Hades, raising an eyebrow.

Narcissus polished his mirror with a tissue. "One two, skip a few, nine-hundred and ninety-nine, one thousand."

"I told you to write a thousand lines, not four, like what the rest of your classmates are doing right now."

Hades spoke in an even tone, but anyone who looked closely could see a vein threatening to pop in his forehead. Unfortunately, Narcissus didn't seem to notice because he responded with a shrug of his shoulders and said, "So? Just because the rest of the class were too stupid to think that up doesn't mean I have to follow them."

"Don't get all smart alec with me, Mister," Hades warned.

"But I am smart. Who wouldn't be with a face as beautiful as mine? And why did you call me Mister? My name's Narcissus, didn't you know that?"

"Detention!" yelled Hades, unable to keep his anger in check anymore.

"But isn't this detention?"

At that, the entire class glanced up in interest to see what Hades' reaction to that would be. A few got ready to block their ears. Some ducked under tables in case he threw something. To everybody's surprise, Hades began smiling rather cheerfully. Narcissus looked slightly unnerved. If Hades was happy, then it usually meant that someone else was going to be very unhappy. Hades turned away from Narcissus and looked at Persephone.

"Persephone, my dear, how many lines have you done?"

"Seven hundred and twenty-three," she answered.

"Good, you may go out early."

Persephone flashed him a thankful grin before rushing out the classroom.

Hermes gasped at the unfairness of it. "But sir, I've done eight hundred and fifty-four lines."

Hades glanced at him unconcernedly. "Well I'm sure you can do one hundred and forty-six more lines." He checked his watch. "Cheer up people. There's only half an hour to go."

Jason gritted his teeth and continued writing. Seriously, one day he was going to lead a revolution against detention in this school. He was pretty sure a lot of people would follow.


End file.
